Bald Alien Reborn

There once were two best friends, Dwayne and Vin. Ever since they met in grade school, the two were inseparable. They ate lunch together, they played at recess together, heck, they even lived together. Dwayne was the skinny, clever one, while Vin was the dumb meathead. But why? Why would these opposite people be inseparable? The answer was their hair. The two of them had magnificent, mind-boggling, astonishing hair. Hair so smooth, so soft, so gracefully long, they couldn’t help but make heads turn. They would flip their hair in unison, making any onlookers self-conscious. They would comb each other’s hair as if their hair weren’t perfectly combed enough. The point is, their hair, was amazing. But other than their classmates and teachers, something else was amazed by their hair.

Now, both adults, Dwayne and Vin were both working together as professional models for a hair conditioning brand. One day, while they were modeling for a new commercial, a bright white light entered the studio through the windows, blinding everyone in the room, including Dwayne and Vin. Dwayne and Vin, now feeling dizzy and confused, were suddenly being lifted up. “Hey Vin, do you feel that?” said Dwayne. “Feel what?” said Vin. “It’s like… It’s like we’re floating up or something!” Wind blowing onto their face, coming from the now broken ceiling window. “Quick! Grab onto something before we go up any further!” Dwayne says in a state of panic. They then started thrashing their arms, trying to find something to hold onto. They both got a hold onto a metal pole that was planted to the ground. They stopped going up by holding onto the pole and had a moment of relief. But then, they started to go up once more. The pole being taken off the

ground and going up with them. “FUDGE DWAYNE! We’re going up again!” said Vin. They were now going up faster. They let go of the pole, and were being sent up at an extremely high speed. They both couldn’t handle the pressure from the speed, and they passed out mid-air.

Dwayne, now starting to open his eyes after just passing out, noticed that he had stopped elevating and was lying down on a flat, rectangular, metal platform that was around the same size as his body. He sits up, looks around, and was baffled. He found himself in a strange room, a very strange room. The room was about 20 feet high and was a public swimming pool in length. It was an enclosed room with the walls and floor being covered in grey metallic tiles. The whole room was illuminated by an irritatingly bright white light that came from the ceiling. He finds other platforms similar to the one he was lying down on next to him, all of them empty, except one. He finds Vin lying down, still passed out. He walks over to the platform, shakes him back and forth, and shouts, “Vin! Vin! Wake up!” Vin started opening his eyes. “Dwayne? Wh- What happened? Where are we?” Vin asks in confusion. “I don’t know either, Vin. I know as much as you do, but the last thing I remember was that we were modeling and we were suddenly lifted up or something.” Says Dwayne. “That really happened? I thought it was all a dream,” says Vin. “Well, apparently not.”

They then started looking for clues to what this room was or someway to get out of it. After hours of searching the room, every wall, every corner, every single surface of the

room, everything, all they could find was nothing but metal. “Fudge this, Dwayne. We’ve been at it for forever now and we’ve gotten nowhere. I’m giving up.” Vin says in frustration. “Come on, Vin! We have to! Do you want to get out or what?” Dwayne says in dispute. “Just go ahead, Dwayne. My brain can’t handle detective work like yours can.” Vin slouches his back on the wall nearest to him, and suddenly felt the wall moving. “What the fudge?” Vin moves away from the wall and notices a slanted gap in the wall, with an even brighter white light than that of the room seeping through it. “Uh, Dwayne, you might want to take a look at this.” Dwayne turns around and notices the gap as well. “You’ve done it, Vin! I didn’t think of a hidden door! You’re pretty clever yourself after all!” says Dwayne. “Oh uh, yeah that’s me.” Dwayne tries pushing the door, but it wasn’t the door he was used to. It was as tall as the 20-foot room and made of metal. Vin helps Dwayne as they push the door together. After giving it all they got for several minutes, the door actually started to budge, and eventually opened all the way through. Dwayne and Vin go through, and what they saw was… something else.

They enter a room, much bigger than the last, that was surrounded by giant mirrors, top to bottom. A larger-scale ceiling light was attached to the ceiling. The light spotlighted the center, and what they found in the light, was VERY STRANGE. They found a large, 15-foot, octopus-looking creature at the center of the room. It was green, had one eye, two mouths, and a giant human-looking nose in the middle, but the weirdest thing of it all, was that it was bald, really, really bald. “WHAT THE FUDGE IS THAT, DWAYNE?! LET’S GET OUT OF HERE!” The two ran around the new room while the creature just stared at them, turning its head as they run in circles, and to no avail, they find no way out. Exhausted, they stopped, and couldn’t run any further. “Vin, if we get eaten, I just want to let you know, I love you, buddy,” says Dwayne. “Yeah, you’re the best homie I’ve ever had, Dwayne,” says Vin. “Guys, I’m not going to eat you.”

“It can talk?” says Dwayne. “Ok look, I’m not here to eat you guys. Ok? I brought you here for… your hair,” says the creature. “Why would you want our hair?” asks Vin. “You see… I’m probably the ugliest alien out there. The other aliens would make fun of my face, my tentacles, but those petty insults don’t really bother me, what really irritates me is when they make fun of my bald head. They would make fun of it every single day. How it’s shaped, how it shines, everything about it. It’s not like I can grow hair like they can! So, when I looked down at earth, I saw people with great, flowing hair, and how much people adored them. So, I rounded up people with the worthiest hair, and I took their hair to make a giant wig to hide my baldness. But the thing is, there’s not enough to cover it all up. So, I just gave it back to them, apologized, and sent them back to earth. I was going to take yours, but seeing what happened with twenty other people’s hair, two people wouldn’t be enough. I’ll just stay ugly forever,” the alien says sadly. “Well dude, why didn’t you say so? We’ll happily give our hair to you!” says Dwayne. “Just forget it, humans. Even if you did give them to me, it wouldn’t be enough for my stupid bald head.” “Do you know who you’re talking to?” Dwayne and Vin take off the band holding back their hair, and hair filled the room. “WOAH! That’s a lot of hair!” the creature says in excitement. “But why? Why would you give me your hair? I said I’m fine without it.” “Well, we’ve actually been planning on being bald for a long time,” says Dwayne. “But how about your modeling, and the people who adore your hair?” asks the creature. “Forget it. We’ve been getting tired of our hair. Being known for only our hair. It’s time we make a name for ourselves, as bald men. You deserve it more, octopus dude,” says Vin. “Are you sure about this?” the creature asked. “For the hundredth time, yes dude.” The creature uses his tentacle suckers to take the hair off them. Making them completely bald. The creature places the hair on its head, and the result was something magnificent.

“It’s… a perfect fit! Thank you so much!” says the creature. “No, thank you, dude.” After saying their farewells, the creature sends them back to earth. Now bald, the modeling job wasn’t going to happen anymore. “What are we going to do now, Dwayne?” “Well, I’ve always wanted to try acting…” After a while, the two made a name for themselves as actors. Dwayne now being known as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Vin being known as Vin Diesel.